Thursday, August 28, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The 10 Secrets of a Happy Relationship
The statistics on relationships are depressing: in California
alone, the average marriage lasts just 5 years. Nationwide,
43% of marriages end within 15 years. Second and third
marriages end in divorce 60-70% of the time. Clearly, how we
handle our relationships is not working. And yet, 94% of young
adults in one study said that having a good marriage is
extremely important to them. So, what can you do?
We researched much of current the literature on relationships
and have condensed the results into just a few key concepts.
These principles seem to be the common denominators in
happy, successful marriages. See how many you can identify
in your relationship.
1. It starts with you
To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you are as happy as
you make up your mind to be. Research has shown that
happiness is a state of being, not of having or doing or
achieving. Nor is happiness a destination. People often
say, "I just want to be happy" or "I just want to have a
happy marriage" as if that is a future goal or place in
time. The problem is, they never get there. That's
because the future is... in the future. And the only true
destination is your final day on earth. And then it's too
late. So make the decision to be happier starting today.
There's a relationship benefit as well. The happier you
are with yourself and your life, the more attractive you
are to your partner. Another way to look at this is: if you
were someone else, would you marry you? Start today to
work on being the kind of person you would want to
know, to date, and to marry. If you're not that kind of
person now, how can you expect your spouse to stay
attracted or stay passionate?
2. There's you, there's him/her, and then there's "we".
You don't have to give up your identity or be known
solely as your spouse's partner.
It also doesn't work when two people each do their own
thing without regard to their partner's wishes and
feelings. Marriage is, and should be, more than
cohabitation. As the marriage vows state, "two shall be
as one". That "one" is neither you nor him. The "one" is
a third entity: the relationship, the marriage, the "we".
The "we" is what you share, what you have in common,
the support and nurturing that you cannot give yourself.
Think companionship, intimacy, and sharing.
3. You leave behind your emotional baggage
Are you really over your previous relationship? If not, you
can't fully commit to your spouse. Likewise, if you are
still Daddy's little girl or Mommy's boy, you are not in
control of your own life. Therefore, you cannot fully enter
into an adult relationship of mutual sharing and support.
You can't be accountable to your spouse if you still have
to please Mommy or Daddy.
You can't reach new heights as a person as long as
you're dragging around your emotional suitcases. And,
it's not fair to your partner. If you're dating but not in a
committed relationship right now, consider a time out
while you unpack those bags and resolve those issues
that keep you from being your own man or woman. If
you are committed, a relationship coach can help you
stow your baggage so you can be there completely for
your partner.
4. The marriage comes first
Marriage is supposed to be the strongest bond between
two people. Parents come and go; children grow and
leave. Your spouse is only person to stay with you the
rest of your time on this planet.
Women who say their children come first, usually can
never let the children grow up and become independent
adults because then the primary relationship in these
women's lives would end. So the children never
emotionally leave home and are forever dependent on
the parent. This delights the women because they are
not willing to have their children grow up emotionally and
become independent adults.
Women who say their children come first also seem so
surprised when their mates eventually decide to leave for
someone else who WILL put them first. And finally, when
children are the center of a women's life, and the
children eventually leave, the woman typically feels lost.
Her reason for existing the last 18-22 years has just
moved out. And if she should turn to her partner after a
20 year emotional abscense, it's like going to your high
school reunion. You used to know them but its not the
same now because they've changed.
When partners put the marriage first, friends, relatives,
and acquaintences are still important but they're not
primary. The man and woman, as the principals in the
relationship, are the combined heads of their household.
As such they look to eath other-and no one else-for their
primary comfort and support.
5. Your marriage is your top priority.
You didn't get married to commute two hours a day,Read Full Article
work at the office 60 hours a week, and pay on a
mortgage for 30 years, did you? You probably got
married to share your life-not your bills-with that special
someone. During life's ups and especially during life's
downs, keep in mind why you married in the first place.
It wasn't so you could get a better job, buy a better car,
or obsess over your favorite sports team. Once upon a
time, your partner was the most important thing in this
world to you. If you value your relationship, he or she
still is. Start acting like it again today and every day.
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American Gift Club
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Definition of Friendship - A Few Facts
Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking in a good friend. Best friend is one who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other.
Friendship is all about how much you care and understand each other. It is a pure relationship, which would make your friend smile, feel good as to how much you love him and care for him. It is all about talking, listening and building up a strong relationship loyalty among each other. It is string of love which develops gradually with each others involvement. In certain cases friendship may not last for a longer period and might end up or lose its prime importance of love and regard for each other. There are some friendships which might end with unresolved conflicts and tiffs which means that these type of relationship were not so strong that could hold on their own in adversity and bad times. Friendship is not about merry-making and fun it involves equal loyalty from both the partners.
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Thursday, August 21, 2008
Is Faith Important to Successfully Achieve a Set Goal?
When setting goals, is faith a part of successfully achieving the goal? Does anyone succeed without the need for faith? What is faith exactly, and if it is a part of success, then why do some people still fail, and so few succeed.
Many people think that faith is believing in a God, believing in a higher being, a deity. However, faith in its true sense is the belief in those things unseen. Faith includes the belief that the Sun will come up tomorrow, that when it is winter, it will become summer at some point.
A person who is an atheist can also succeed. This article is not concerned about the spiritual aspect, but it does concern faith. The faith that our deep down desires in the heart will be realized. That those goals you set will materialize, this is faith.
Believe as though you receive, and you will receive. This statement is fundamentally correct. But, how is it correct? A look at success stories, and failed stories, we find that the successes believed.
This is not like winning the lottery. I have yet a person in business to turn around and get as excited at being worth a million. Generally a goal needs us to grow. A goal which we set everyday, like getting a cup of coffee is not a goal. Though we have to function as a goal achieving being, these goals are nothing new.
Faith to get a cup of coffee is not as pronounced as a goal you set and worked for, for many years, possibly even decades. Yes, you get excited at achieving such goals, however, soon as it is done, it is time for the next goal or we could simply drift back.
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Use the Law of Attraction With Unconditional Love
The secret to life is immersing yourself in unconditional love. Use the tool called the law of attraction to attract unconditional love into your every experience. Call forth spirituality information that allows your spiritual growth to expand exponentially.
Everything that exists, including you, came from the source of everything. This source has been called many names. God, Allah, Jawah, Jehovah, Brahma, Nature and Elohim are just a few of the names or labels that we have attached to this idea or concept we have about the source of all that is.
These names and labels are a way of identifying this something that is omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent. This omniscient, omnipotent and omnipresent thing that we are labeling is the concept that rules and binds the universe and everything that exists, seen and unseen, and this thing we are talking about, that we label with the word "God," is love.
Unconditional, unbounded, all-powerful love is the force behind the source that we call God. When you come right down to the bottom line of our existence in this physical relative universe, our only reason and purpose for being is to experience love in all of its different infinite perspectives.
This is the easiest thing in the world to do because everything we experience is an experience of looking at love from a unique perspective. Everything that exists, seen and unseen, is an aspect of love. This includes the concept and emotion we call fear.
Fear would not exist except for the idea that this universe of relativity was created as an ideal stage in which we could experience in the physical all that we know as concepts in the absolute. The only thing that exists in the absolute is love. The only way to experience love is to experience the opposite of love, which is fear.
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Love and the Expansion of Creation
Until several years ago, I used to believe that when I met somebody and had even a short conversation with them, it was meant to be a conversation that covered spiritual topics. It was almost like I had an obligation, a burden from God, to do this. And sometimes I resented that. I believed that I could help them and that it was for their own good. What a false belief that was! I won't say that it came from arrogance, but it came from a belief that I had something special, something that others did not always have.
This was a belief that was inseparably linked with my belief in separation. I saw everyone as separate from me, and I also saw a distinction between spiritual and non spiritual. By talking to them I was bringing them in to the spiritual realm. Our belief in separation from each other and from God has roots that extend out to the farthest reaches. The good news is that we have only one belief to release, that belief in separation. When we release that belief, it solves all of our "problems." Instead of all of those roots extending off a weed, they extend off a trunk of Love. Remember, one "problem," one answer.
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Thursday, August 14, 2008
How Do I Know I'm in Love - And With the Right Person?
Many men and women of all ages are postponing marriage because of their fears of choosing the wrong person and making a lifelong mistake. Since most important decisions in life are made with incomplete information, choosing the wrong partner is always a possibility. People can hide their worst behavior-from themselves as well as their partners. Here are some relationship tips and relationship and marriage advice about how to know you are in love and whether the person is right for you. But remember, this relationship advice is only a guide, and, although using it cannot guarantee happiness, it can increase your chances of choosing wisely.
1. You are both over 21. When one or both partners are under the age of 21, the chance of divorce or unhappiness increases. However, there are couples who met in high school or earlier and have long-term, mutually satisfying relationships!
2. Before you get married, you have dated for around two years. The brain's "love chemical" of oxytocin and the brain's dopamine levels are elevated when you feel you are in love. This elevation can last up to about two years. No wonder marriages fail frequently after two years! Wait until you are no longer in "brain la-la land" and see what your relationship is like.
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