Biggest Reasons Why Relationships Don’t Work

Have you ever wondered why many relationships don’t work well? Many are looking for ways and means on how to save a marriage. Let’s see some of the root causes that greatly affect relationships.

1. FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE MORE – in any relationship, communication is essential. One way is to build good listening skills. One needs to let the other person know what is in his or her mind. We cannot keep on second-guessing the other person. Open communication even becomes critical so as not to misunderstand each other. Problems arise when one partner expects the other to read his or her mind and you will agree with me that this is close to impossible.

My wife for example is an introvert. In our 1st years of marriage whenever she gets angry she just keeps quiet all the time and I get frustrated because it was like I was talking to a wall. But later she too realized that it was necessary for her to communicate and express herself in order to reconcile and put the unity back between us. We must also seek to be a listener, build good listening skills, and have an attitude like this:” I want to understand her so that I can know why she thinks and feels that way.”

2. SELFISHNESS - difficult as this may sound but when we are self-centered, we tend to dismiss the other person’s feelings and say anything we want to say to suit our moods. To be outward-looking is to be concerned of the feelings of the other person. You can ask yourself ”Did I make him happy today or did I hurt his feelings?” Again, its important to build good listening skills. Most of the time because of pride we tend to hurt the other. In order to maintain unity in a relationship, we need to remove our pride. How? By thinking and caring more for the other person and trying to serve him better.

3. LACK OF SHOW OF AFFECTION – we are social people. We interact with each other. One of the best ways to relay our feelings and concerns is a gentle touch, a warm hug, a peck in the cheek and other means of showing our affection. It is important to say “You know that I love you…” to the person dearest to you. However you need to also to show your love outwardly one way or another. For example, I make it a point to kiss my wife goodbye every time I leave for work. Affection brings warmth and closeness to each other.

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The Flirting Language

It is generally said that women send more body language than the men. Just looking at the way a person behaves with their body you can tell if a person loves you or not, you can tell almost instantly if the person is interested in you or not. Flirting language is not hard to understand, it is actually the second language that can be understood most after the love language. One only needs to move one body part in a certain way before you can tell that the person is flirting with you and that they are interested in you. For example if a woman tosses her hair or plays with her hair that is a flirting language, the interpretation to that is that the woman wants you to talk to her and that she is ready to start a relationship with you if possible.

Another flirting language that everyone is familiar with is the eye. The eyes communicate a lot and depending with how you look at a person they will know exactly what you mean. When someone spots a person somewhere and looks at them at a glance it probably means nothing, but when the person looks at someone and he or she hold the gaze for sometime it means that you want to meet with them and that it would be great if you looked back at them in a suggestive manner so that they know whether to approach you or to keep off if the look of course you give back is repulsive.

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The Different Ways Men Say "I Love You"

Most women won't feel happy unless they hear their men say "I love you" directly to them. But men express their love in many different ways. This article explores the different ways in which men say I love you, and what love actually means to them. When women understand this, a great deal of upset can dissolve easily.

"I can sleep with her, marry her, take care of her, but to say I love you" that's something else" said Tony, a married man in his late forties. "Guys don't like to talk about love. They don't know what to say.

"Of course guys do love. But they express it differently. Despite this fact, most women do not feel happy unless they hear those golden words, I love you. Men need to hear them as well. And yet, as much as men want love, many fight it to the last minute.

Love can make men feel vulnerable, childlike, and unable to do what's expected of them. Yet, naturally, men do love and different types of men express their love differently. A woman needs to be alert to who the man she is with is, and what love means to him. Here are five different ways that men express what they are feeling.

The first way is simply by saying "I Love You."

Actually, saying these words is a huge step for some men. It means a lot more than simply expressing a feeling. For some it feels like a life commitment, for others it is fraught with danger.

"When I say I love you,"said Steve, "I feel like I'm taking my life in my hands and giving it to her. It's scary. I've got to really trust her and know she won't throw my love away in order to actually say the words to her.

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Is This Any Way To Win Friends And Influence People?

We've all heard the ravings and rantings about how important it is in direct sales, to "relate" - that success must be built on starting and building relationships. Sometimes they call what we do "relationship marketing." Some say that's why network marketing is a natural thing for women to do.

Yet, the things people are taught to say to others about their products appear to do the opposite - they tend to drive the other woman away - glazed eyes and all - even one who might have been a good match for the product (or business).

For example, one lady, when asked "What do you do?" by someone, bubbled:

"Ooh, I'm a wellness consultant! We market unique, patented, scientifically proven nutraceuticals, and blah blah blah..."

Your reaction? Read it out loud. Say it to someone else. See how they react. Any wonder people want to get away?

Indeed, hundreds of distributors report that when they say their "product script" most other people's eyes glaze over, and they make up a fast excuse to get away. Most product scripts sound just like the one above. Full of "seller talk" and techno babble that no one cares about except the person speaking. A total turn off to normal people.

Is this anyway to start a relationship?

(Interesting aside: Without exception, EVERY student in my classes who talks like that to others about their product, the minute someone else reads their script back to them out loud, the student immediately realizes why those other people turned off and changed the subject. Now they can't believe they've been talking like that all this time.)

So what to say instead?

How about telling YOUR story and asking for people like you? And get rid of the idea that you have to impress and convert every person to whom you speak, to your way of thinking about it?

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Should we let fate decide in matters of love?

One of the most commonly asked questions, What is Love? What is its exact definition? Well, there can never be a definite answer. Everyone got his or her own answer to it. To some it can be really simple while to others, it can get really complicated. But one definite thing that is for sure, everybody needs love. It is a basic human need; we are not born into this world to be alone. It has always been our natural instinct as human to reach out to people, to be with and accepted by others. Consciously or subconsciously, everyone is searching and waiting for that special someone to appear in his or her life.

But where and when will this special someone appear? For all you may know, he or she could be just nearby or even just beside you. It all depends on fate a lot would say. Fate? Well fate is again, something that cannot be explained, something that is always so amazing. Think about it. Among the millions and millions of people who could be out there, why is it that you had somehow met your friends to later become the best of friends? Got retrenched, feeling so terrible and disappointed but to later find your love among your new colleagues in your new job? Life has just suddenly become so beautiful?
Well, this is indeed a very true encounter of a friend of mine. Hmm… thinking about it, isn’t there also kind of a fate between you and me that you are actually reading this article right now? Everything is like all so miraculously arranged, having a reason behind every event that happened.

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Make Deeper, More Sincere Friendships

There are simple things that we can do to have longer lasting more sincere friendships. It’s as easy as showing interest in the other person, investing time in the friendship, and accepting your friends for who they are.

Sincere Interest

Show sincere interest in the other person. Care about what they care about.

Years ago in Japan I had a very close Japanese friend. As an American I was interested in how he defined friendship. So I asked him, "What does it mean to be a true friend in Japan?" He thought for a moment and then replied, "If you went into a restaurant with your friend, without asking them you would be able to order a meal with which they would be perfectly satisfied. Or if you went shopping for clothing together, you would be able to pick clothes that would make them perfectly happy."

I was stunned. I had never thought of it in those terms before. I felt I had good friends, but at that level? I doubted I could order food for a friend; if I did, it would be what I like, not particularly what they would want.

My friend’s definition has stayed with me for years.

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Emotional Infidelity: A Love Affair or Just Friends?

A common plea: But, we're "just friends." However the "emotional connection" is quite obvious by the amount of time spent in communication and the "vibes" that are set off.

These emotional connections often arise at work or in a social context in which working intensively toward a common goal consumes energy.

Here are a few observations of the "just friends" emotional affair:

1. This person often struggles knowing where to draw the line. S/he often throws him/herself into something 100%. Other aspects of his/her life may suffer or be ignored. There often is a lack of personal balance between family, work, self care.

2. He/she struggles with intimacy. (I want to be close to someone, but don't like intimacy.) The "just friends" emotional affair means neither spouse nor OP (other person) ever get "intimate." Neither relationship is fully consummated or has potential for growth.

3. Of course the "just friends" comment means either "stay away" or I'm, underneath all this, really confused about where I fit in relationships, what I want from them, or what they mean to me. There is an "emotional connection" to the OP that defies description. A sad kind of "stuckness or lostness."

The lover or "falling in love" emotional affair has a different twist.

The common complaint to the partner is: "I feel badly about this, and I don't want to hurt you, but, I'm not "in love" with you anymore. "I love you but I'm not in love." This often indicates:

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