Biggest Reasons Why Relationships Don’t Work

Have you ever wondered why many relationships don’t work well? Many are looking for ways and means on how to save a marriage. Let’s see some of the root causes that greatly affect relationships.

1. FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE MORE – in any relationship, communication is essential. One way is to build good listening skills. One needs to let the other person know what is in his or her mind. We cannot keep on second-guessing the other person. Open communication even becomes critical so as not to misunderstand each other. Problems arise when one partner expects the other to read his or her mind and you will agree with me that this is close to impossible.

My wife for example is an introvert. In our 1st years of marriage whenever she gets angry she just keeps quiet all the time and I get frustrated because it was like I was talking to a wall. But later she too realized that it was necessary for her to communicate and express herself in order to reconcile and put the unity back between us. We must also seek to be a listener, build good listening skills, and have an attitude like this:” I want to understand her so that I can know why she thinks and feels that way.”

2. SELFISHNESS - difficult as this may sound but when we are self-centered, we tend to dismiss the other person’s feelings and say anything we want to say to suit our moods. To be outward-looking is to be concerned of the feelings of the other person. You can ask yourself ”Did I make him happy today or did I hurt his feelings?” Again, its important to build good listening skills. Most of the time because of pride we tend to hurt the other. In order to maintain unity in a relationship, we need to remove our pride. How? By thinking and caring more for the other person and trying to serve him better.

3. LACK OF SHOW OF AFFECTION – we are social people. We interact with each other. One of the best ways to relay our feelings and concerns is a gentle touch, a warm hug, a peck in the cheek and other means of showing our affection. It is important to say “You know that I love you…” to the person dearest to you. However you need to also to show your love outwardly one way or another. For example, I make it a point to kiss my wife goodbye every time I leave for work. Affection brings warmth and closeness to each other.

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The Flirting Language

It is generally said that women send more body language than the men. Just looking at the way a person behaves with their body you can tell if a person loves you or not, you can tell almost instantly if the person is interested in you or not. Flirting language is not hard to understand, it is actually the second language that can be understood most after the love language. One only needs to move one body part in a certain way before you can tell that the person is flirting with you and that they are interested in you. For example if a woman tosses her hair or plays with her hair that is a flirting language, the interpretation to that is that the woman wants you to talk to her and that she is ready to start a relationship with you if possible.

Another flirting language that everyone is familiar with is the eye. The eyes communicate a lot and depending with how you look at a person they will know exactly what you mean. When someone spots a person somewhere and looks at them at a glance it probably means nothing, but when the person looks at someone and he or she hold the gaze for sometime it means that you want to meet with them and that it would be great if you looked back at them in a suggestive manner so that they know whether to approach you or to keep off if the look of course you give back is repulsive.

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The Different Ways Men Say "I Love You"

Most women won't feel happy unless they hear their men say "I love you" directly to them. But men express their love in many different ways. This article explores the different ways in which men say I love you, and what love actually means to them. When women understand this, a great deal of upset can dissolve easily.

"I can sleep with her, marry her, take care of her, but to say I love you" that's something else" said Tony, a married man in his late forties. "Guys don't like to talk about love. They don't know what to say.

"Of course guys do love. But they express it differently. Despite this fact, most women do not feel happy unless they hear those golden words, I love you. Men need to hear them as well. And yet, as much as men want love, many fight it to the last minute.

Love can make men feel vulnerable, childlike, and unable to do what's expected of them. Yet, naturally, men do love and different types of men express their love differently. A woman needs to be alert to who the man she is with is, and what love means to him. Here are five different ways that men express what they are feeling.

The first way is simply by saying "I Love You."

Actually, saying these words is a huge step for some men. It means a lot more than simply expressing a feeling. For some it feels like a life commitment, for others it is fraught with danger.

"When I say I love you,"said Steve, "I feel like I'm taking my life in my hands and giving it to her. It's scary. I've got to really trust her and know she won't throw my love away in order to actually say the words to her.

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Is This Any Way To Win Friends And Influence People?

We've all heard the ravings and rantings about how important it is in direct sales, to "relate" - that success must be built on starting and building relationships. Sometimes they call what we do "relationship marketing." Some say that's why network marketing is a natural thing for women to do.

Yet, the things people are taught to say to others about their products appear to do the opposite - they tend to drive the other woman away - glazed eyes and all - even one who might have been a good match for the product (or business).

For example, one lady, when asked "What do you do?" by someone, bubbled:

"Ooh, I'm a wellness consultant! We market unique, patented, scientifically proven nutraceuticals, and blah blah blah..."

Your reaction? Read it out loud. Say it to someone else. See how they react. Any wonder people want to get away?

Indeed, hundreds of distributors report that when they say their "product script" most other people's eyes glaze over, and they make up a fast excuse to get away. Most product scripts sound just like the one above. Full of "seller talk" and techno babble that no one cares about except the person speaking. A total turn off to normal people.

Is this anyway to start a relationship?

(Interesting aside: Without exception, EVERY student in my classes who talks like that to others about their product, the minute someone else reads their script back to them out loud, the student immediately realizes why those other people turned off and changed the subject. Now they can't believe they've been talking like that all this time.)

So what to say instead?

How about telling YOUR story and asking for people like you? And get rid of the idea that you have to impress and convert every person to whom you speak, to your way of thinking about it?

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Make Deeper, More Sincere Friendships

There are simple things that we can do to have longer lasting more sincere friendships. It’s as easy as showing interest in the other person, investing time in the friendship, and accepting your friends for who they are.

Sincere Interest

Show sincere interest in the other person. Care about what they care about.

Years ago in Japan I had a very close Japanese friend. As an American I was interested in how he defined friendship. So I asked him, "What does it mean to be a true friend in Japan?" He thought for a moment and then replied, "If you went into a restaurant with your friend, without asking them you would be able to order a meal with which they would be perfectly satisfied. Or if you went shopping for clothing together, you would be able to pick clothes that would make them perfectly happy."

I was stunned. I had never thought of it in those terms before. I felt I had good friends, but at that level? I doubted I could order food for a friend; if I did, it would be what I like, not particularly what they would want.

My friend’s definition has stayed with me for years.

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Emotional Infidelity: A Love Affair or Just Friends?

A common plea: But, we're "just friends." However the "emotional connection" is quite obvious by the amount of time spent in communication and the "vibes" that are set off.

These emotional connections often arise at work or in a social context in which working intensively toward a common goal consumes energy.

Here are a few observations of the "just friends" emotional affair:

1. This person often struggles knowing where to draw the line. S/he often throws him/herself into something 100%. Other aspects of his/her life may suffer or be ignored. There often is a lack of personal balance between family, work, self care.

2. He/she struggles with intimacy. (I want to be close to someone, but don't like intimacy.) The "just friends" emotional affair means neither spouse nor OP (other person) ever get "intimate." Neither relationship is fully consummated or has potential for growth.

3. Of course the "just friends" comment means either "stay away" or I'm, underneath all this, really confused about where I fit in relationships, what I want from them, or what they mean to me. There is an "emotional connection" to the OP that defies description. A sad kind of "stuckness or lostness."

The lover or "falling in love" emotional affair has a different twist.

The common complaint to the partner is: "I feel badly about this, and I don't want to hurt you, but, I'm not "in love" with you anymore. "I love you but I'm not in love." This often indicates:

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Boost Your Luck With These 6 Simple Strategies

In life some people appear lucky. In Feng Shui it often
appears as if things happen by magic for some.
Co-incidences seemly appear from nowhere.

You're thinking about a new direction for your business and
you just happen to be introduced to the perfect person to
help you move in that direction. It's tempting to say
“what a co-incidence, I was just thinking about that”.
When it happens to someone else you might say “They are
always lucky”.

Co-incidence? Naturally lucky? I don't think so. I see
it as putting out some energy and then being open to
synchronicity. And, once you start noticing it - it's
everywhere. In Feng Shui you set your intention, anchor
that in your environment with an enhancement, and then
your job is to get out of your own way and be open to the
messages and synchronicity that are occurring around you.


The Helpful People area of the Bagua is a favorite of mine.
Chance meetings, helpful people appearing from nowhere -
just waiting for your energy to reach out. It occurs in all
areas of the Bagua, and all parts of your life.

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Being Unlucky Enough to be Lucky.

It's been a crazy winter in the Midwest. We had thunderstorms and heavy snows, cold days, warm days and days where the wind would knock the Statue of Liberty over.

Throughout it all I kept hearing that although it was a terrible winter, we were lucky it wasn't worse than it was. How it has come to be that we all consider ourselves unluckily lucky is a mystery to me.

When we had the monsoons in January, probably 30% of the homes in this area got water in their basements for the first time ever. What did these people say as they went out sump pump shopping? "Well, this is the first time and considering how heavy the rain was for a full 24 hours, I guess we are lucky we didn't get more water than we did."

Wouldn't these people actually be lucky if they didn't have any nasty sewerage floating their storage boxes into each other? One man who actually lost a finished rec room with a huge plasma television set told me how lucky he was to have insurance. Boy I sure wish I was as lucky as he is.

When I and my neighbors were busy shoveling our vehicles out of drifts of snow in early January, many cheerfully said we have been lucky for many years not to get too many of these snowfalls. Wouldn't we actually have been luckier if we could say that as we swept just a dusting off our stairs? The third time in a month this debacle happened I didn't hear many "lucky" conversations going on while snow piled up around the town. That is except for that one weird neighbor who always is smiling. He still felt we were lucky since we don't have terrible winters like this every year. Hey buddy, Tibet doesn't have winters like this every year.

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Bamboo Wedding Favors – The Good Luck Favor

Bamboo wedding favors are perfect for those looking for a really unique favor to share with their guests. A symbolic gift that is said to bring good luck, bamboo wedding favors represent perfectly the good wishes and gratitude the happy couple want to share. For those seeking a stylish favor embedded with mystical eastern symbolism, bamboo wedding favors are the perfect choice.

Chinese spirituality is filled with meaning that is relevant even to those raised in the western world, and bamboo wedding favors are an ideal way to translate these meanings into our western traditions. Said to be filled with positive energy, or chi, bamboo wedding favors will bring good luck to all your guests.

And available with a beautiful range of ceramic pots, bamboo wedding favors will be sure to raise a multitude of smiles too! Whether you choose a single bamboo stick, or a small arrangement, bamboo wedding favors can be presented in myriad ways.

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Much of Luck is About Timing

Have you ever watched an interview with someone famous or a successful business person and they claim the secret to their success was just being lucky? And you think, well, if that's their secret then I am SOL. Then, the same person goes on to say, I was just in the right place at the right time.

Timing: Well, yes, timing luck comes to those who walk down the hall and peak into those open doors as the ajar themselves. You see, if you are not walking down the hall in incremental steps, you won't know the doors are even open. Of course, it's often said that luck is when preparedness meets opportunity. And that indeed, makes a whole lot of sense. Think for a second about the successes in your life or the lucky events that brought you to where you are today?

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When Being Good Does Not Equal Happiness

Won't it be wonderful if there were a single formula for happiness? There is no such thing, and anyone who claims to have invented or found such a formula or equation is simply kidding, pretending, or trying to fool the rest of us. But it would be near-to-impossible to disprove the person's claim to gladness, because you'd have to live in the same house with that "happy person" for 30 days before you'd find out the fact that he or she only claimed to be happy all the time but was really just like the rest of us: unhappy in an unhappy world

Perhaps the closest any human being can come to cracking the happiness code is in being a good person, someone who is committed to doing what is morally right, as defined and understood by the dominant culture where that person lives. Religious people are said to be among the rare souls who have uncovered the mystery to happiness. They tend to link happiness or joy to being or doing what is good, godly and righteous.

The only trouble is that it is not that clear cut, or most humans would have followed the religious formula, and the world's billions of people would be mostly happy, glad, joyful. The reality is that being good and doing good may not result in happiness, at least not all the time. The only way godliness would produce permanent happiness in this life would be if only good things were to happen to good people, and only bad things were to happen to bad people. In a world where bad things happen to good people and vice versa, it is absurd to think or believe that lifelong happiness can become anyone's reality this side of the grave. The reality of a crippled world renders flawed every formula of happiness.

Concerning the morally good life, one writer penned these words on what he called "the straight life":

The straight life for a homemaker is washing dishes three hours a day; it is cleaning sinks and scouring toilets and waxing floors; it is chasing toddlers and mediating fights between preschool siblings. (One mother said she had raised three "tricycle motors," and they had worn her out.) The straight life is driving your station wagon to school and back twenty-three times per week; it is grocery shopping and baking cupcakes for the class Halloween party. The straight life eventually means becoming the parent of an ungrateful teenager, which I assure you is no job for sissies. (It's difficult to let your adolescent find himself - especially when you know he isn't even looking!) Certainly, the straight life for the homemaker can be an exhausting experience, at times.

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You Wanna Make New Friends?

Use shyness to your advantage

Force yourself to go up and say hello to strangers at parties, meetings and gatherings. If you're very shy, think of yourself as a 'successfully shy' person, because you can still make new friends. Making the first move takes the pressure off other people, and most of the time they will be relieved that someone else has set the ball rolling.

The remote control is not your friend

Chances are, you won't meet too many new people sitting home alone watching TV and moping. You really have to get out more, but fortunately you don't have to be out until late every night. Why not test the water by joining a group of some kind that meets once a week?

What makes you tick?

Friendships are often formed between people who have a common interest. Just be yourself, and find some like-minded others. If you're sports mad, join a local team for training or competitions. If you want to help others, why not try volunteering? Look on the internet for organizations (Better not Dating Agencies) that cater for singles meeting at events rather than under the pressure of "Blind Dating" You will probably enjoy the event anyway, even if you don't meet anyone you want to team up with

There are evening and weekend classes on just about any subject you can imagine, and even if you don't hit it off with anybody there, you'll still be picking up new skills, and will have something interesting to talk about. University students are generally spoiled for choice, and can join all sorts of clubs and societies at college.

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Lucky Bamboo Care

Quick Tips: Lucky Bamboo Care

As millions of "lucky" consumers around the world have discovered, Lucky Bamboo makes the perfect house or office plant, needing little care but an inch of water and little direct sunlight to keep it happy and thriving...

What is Lucky Bamboo?

Known for centuries as Lucky Bamboo, the plant is not a bamboo at all (botanical name: Dracaena) but a resilient member of the lily family that grows in the dark, tropical rainforests of Southeast Asia and Africa.

How Much Care Does Lucky Bamboo Need?

Keep water fresh by changing it every week, and always keep water levels at approximately an inch from the base of the canes. Lucky Bamboo prefers plenty of indirect sunlight and room temperatures at 65-70°. Although opinions differ on feeding, your Lucky Bamboo is a living organism, so it makes sense to occasionally add a mild solution to the water such as African Violet fertilizer. Since growth can be controlled by feeding, small amounts of fertilizer will keep the plant at a manageable size.

Why Are the Leaves Turning Yellow?

Two of the most common factors are 1.) too much direct sunlight; and 2.) too salty or heavily-fluoridated tap water. To give your new Lucky Bamboo a thriving start be sure to keep it away from direct sunlight, and water only with filtered or natural spring water.

Why Is It Called "Lucky" Bamboo?

Along with its ease of growth, Lucky Bamboo has long been associated with the Eastern practice of Feng Shui - or the bringing of natural elements of water, fire, earth, wood and metal into balance within the environment. Lucky Bamboo is believed to be an ideal example of the thriving wood and water element, with the addition of a red ribbon sometimes tied around the stalks - which is believed to "fire" the positive flow of energy or chi in the room. The number of stalks also has meaning : three stalks for happiness; five stalks for wealth; six stalks for health. Four stalks, however, are always avoided - since the word "four" in Chinese sounds too similar to the Chinese word for "death"!

Can I Take Cuttings from Lucky Bamboo?

Yes. New stalks can be propagated from the original plant by using a sharp knife to cut through a stalk - just below the joint. Place the cutting in fresh, clean water. A fine mist spray to stalks is sometimes suggested to stimulate new bud growth.

How Do I Repot Bamboo?

Like any other houseplant, Lucky Bamboo can be transferred to a vase or pot 2 inches larger than the original, or planted permanently into a loose sand or soil mixture that provides lots of bottom drainage. To avoid root rot, be careful to let the top of the soil dry out between waterings.

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How to Make a Man Fall in Love With Me - 5 Tips For Women

If you're anything like me you've been involved with a man and you couldn't gauge how he felt about you. Even if you're crazy about him, and you're ready to move the relationship forward to something more serious, it might be almost impossible to tell what he's thinking. Unless a guy utters those three delightful little words, we don't always have a clue to exactly what his heart or head is feeling. I was in that position and started to wonder how I could make a man fall in love with me. I was head over heels crazy for my boyfriend but I was pretty sure he was still in like mode and hadn't fallen in love with me yet.

One of the very first things I realized when I wanted to make a man fall in love with me is that attitude is everything. Men are attracted to happy women. If you're the type of woman who likes to find fault in little things, you'll struggle more when it comes to being adored by a man. Smiling, laughing and just genuinely having fun will draw him closer to you.

Being physically attractive is obviously important but not everything when it comes to getting the attention of a special man. Men enjoy women who make an effort to look good. This doesn't mean you have to be skinny with perfect hair. You do need to take some time to choose clothes that flatter your body and put on a little make up. Men love the natural look on the women in their lives so don't go overboard by wearing too much or things that are too tight or revealing.

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The Reality About Destiny And Fate

The common perception about destiny and fate in our society is that they are set in stone. They are some place that we are meant to go to or something we are meant to have or be or do. The other perception is that some things are destiny or fate and other things are not. Usually the things that come across as coming to us out of luck are usually labeled destiny or fate and the things that are bad or we don't want in our lives are just bad things that happen to good people. What I urge you to understand is that there is no blue print in the sky that states what we should or should not have, do, or be. There is no higher power who says that you will get this while I don't or I get that while you get nothing. We attract everything that is in our lives to ourselves, and we create everything we get with our thoughts.

Take a look around your life. Go ahead, I won't watch. Take note of everything that has happened to you and everything that is happening to you and everything you have and have had. All of that, every last bit of it is there or has been there because you attracted it to you with your decisions. Your decisions include the things you have thought about and currently think about. Your decisions include the emotional states you allow yourself to be in. Everything in your life has been created and attracted to you because of those decisions. They were not brought to you by some higher power. Both the good and the bad are there because of what you choose to focus on and feel on a regular basis.

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How to care for Lucky Bamboo

Make Lucky Bamboo Arrangements

The 10 Secrets of a Happy Relationship

The statistics on relationships are depressing: in California
alone, the average marriage lasts just 5 years. Nationwide,
43% of marriages end within 15 years. Second and third
marriages end in divorce 60-70% of the time. Clearly, how we
handle our relationships is not working. And yet, 94% of young
adults in one study said that having a good marriage is
extremely important to them. So, what can you do?

We researched much of current the literature on relationships
and have condensed the results into just a few key concepts.
These principles seem to be the common denominators in
happy, successful marriages. See how many you can identify
in your relationship.

1. It starts with you

To paraphrase Abraham Lincoln, you are as happy as
you make up your mind to be. Research has shown that
happiness is a state of being, not of having or doing or
achieving. Nor is happiness a destination. People often
say, "I just want to be happy" or "I just want to have a
happy marriage" as if that is a future goal or place in
time. The problem is, they never get there. That's
because the future is... in the future. And the only true
destination is your final day on earth. And then it's too
late. So make the decision to be happier starting today.

There's a relationship benefit as well. The happier you
are with yourself and your life, the more attractive you
are to your partner. Another way to look at this is: if you
were someone else, would you marry you? Start today to
work on being the kind of person you would want to
know, to date, and to marry. If you're not that kind of
person now, how can you expect your spouse to stay
attracted or stay passionate?

2. There's you, there's him/her, and then there's "we".

You don't have to give up your identity or be known
solely as your spouse's partner.

It also doesn't work when two people each do their own
thing without regard to their partner's wishes and
feelings. Marriage is, and should be, more than
cohabitation. As the marriage vows state, "two shall be
as one". That "one" is neither you nor him. The "one" is
a third entity: the relationship, the marriage, the "we".

The "we" is what you share, what you have in common,
the support and nurturing that you cannot give yourself.
Think companionship, intimacy, and sharing.

3. You leave behind your emotional baggage

Are you really over your previous relationship? If not, you
can't fully commit to your spouse. Likewise, if you are
still Daddy's little girl or Mommy's boy, you are not in
control of your own life. Therefore, you cannot fully enter
into an adult relationship of mutual sharing and support.
You can't be accountable to your spouse if you still have
to please Mommy or Daddy.

You can't reach new heights as a person as long as
you're dragging around your emotional suitcases. And,
it's not fair to your partner. If you're dating but not in a
committed relationship right now, consider a time out
while you unpack those bags and resolve those issues
that keep you from being your own man or woman. If
you are committed, a relationship coach can help you
stow your baggage so you can be there completely for
your partner.

4. The marriage comes first

Marriage is supposed to be the strongest bond between
two people. Parents come and go; children grow and
leave. Your spouse is only person to stay with you the
rest of your time on this planet.

Women who say their children come first, usually can
never let the children grow up and become independent
adults because then the primary relationship in these
women's lives would end. So the children never
emotionally leave home and are forever dependent on
the parent. This delights the women because they are
not willing to have their children grow up emotionally and
become independent adults.

Women who say their children come first also seem so
surprised when their mates eventually decide to leave for
someone else who WILL put them first. And finally, when
children are the center of a women's life, and the
children eventually leave, the woman typically feels lost.
Her reason for existing the last 18-22 years has just
moved out. And if she should turn to her partner after a
20 year emotional abscense, it's like going to your high
school reunion. You used to know them but its not the
same now because they've changed.

When partners put the marriage first, friends, relatives,
and acquaintences are still important but they're not
primary. The man and woman, as the principals in the
relationship, are the combined heads of their household.
As such they look to eath other-and no one else-for their
primary comfort and support.

5. Your marriage is your top priority.

You didn't get married to commute two hours a day,
work at the office 60 hours a week, and pay on a
mortgage for 30 years, did you? You probably got
married to share your life-not your bills-with that special
someone. During life's ups and especially during life's
downs, keep in mind why you married in the first place.
It wasn't so you could get a better job, buy a better car,
or obsess over your favorite sports team. Once upon a
time, your partner was the most important thing in this
world to you. If you value your relationship, he or she
still is. Start acting like it again today and every day.

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Definition of Friendship - A Few Facts

Friendship is a personal relationship shared between each friend for the welfare of other, in other words, it is the relationship of trust, faith and concern for each other feelings. It is a relationship of mutual caring and intimacy among one another. A friend is one who knows you as a person and regards you for what you are and not what he or she is looking in a good friend. Best friend is one who accepts the good as well bad qualities of his friend and also takes an initiative in correcting and mending them. Friendship is a distinctive kind of concern for your friend, it is a relationship of immense faith and love for each other.

Friendship is all about how much you care and understand each other. It is a pure relationship, which would make your friend smile, feel good as to how much you love him and care for him. It is all about talking, listening and building up a strong relationship loyalty among each other. It is string of love which develops gradually with each others involvement. In certain cases friendship may not last for a longer period and might end up or lose its prime importance of love and regard for each other. There are some friendships which might end with unresolved conflicts and tiffs which means that these type of relationship were not so strong that could hold on their own in adversity and bad times. Friendship is not about merry-making and fun it involves equal loyalty from both the partners.

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Is Faith Important to Successfully Achieve a Set Goal?

When setting goals, is faith a part of successfully achieving the goal? Does anyone succeed without the need for faith? What is faith exactly, and if it is a part of success, then why do some people still fail, and so few succeed.

Many people think that faith is believing in a God, believing in a higher being, a deity. However, faith in its true sense is the belief in those things unseen. Faith includes the belief that the Sun will come up tomorrow, that when it is winter, it will become summer at some point.

A person who is an atheist can also succeed. This article is not concerned about the spiritual aspect, but it does concern faith. The faith that our deep down desires in the heart will be realized. That those goals you set will materialize, this is faith.

Believe as though you receive, and you will receive. This statement is fundamentally correct. But, how is it correct? A look at success stories, and failed stories, we find that the successes believed.

This is not like winning the lottery. I have yet a person in business to turn around and get as excited at being worth a million. Generally a goal needs us to grow. A goal which we set everyday, like getting a cup of coffee is not a goal. Though we have to function as a goal achieving being, these goals are nothing new.

Faith to get a cup of coffee is not as pronounced as a goal you set and worked for, for many years, possibly even decades. Yes, you get excited at achieving such goals, however, soon as it is done, it is time for the next goal or we could simply drift back.

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